Journey into the unknown...

Time to move on...

2009-08-07T00:44:00.002-04:00

This will be my last blog...

As time elapsed since my prognostic of Pancreatic Cancer, I've made a long way in recovery and awareness of our Ontario medical system.

God forbid, you always have to be on top of your medical team and you have to read on and on about your particular ailment as the information is not readily available. Gladly I did recover with the help of my medical team but for the past 2 years, I've been lied to, been ignored, been numbered, etc etc.

Having cancer (regardless of its name) is an ugly thing. They scare you with their stats and their technique are somewhat questionable at best. They administer you with chemo drugs made to kill a cow and although you have all of the side effects, they only tell you "its normal".

I have made a recovery of my cancer in November 08 and now 2 years later from the onset, I still cannot resume to my past life with the things that made me whom I am. Sometimes one can only feel like a zombie killing time. I have not recovered my strenght and I do realise that I have been beaten up badly. It is good however to have a wonderful better half who can bring me back to reality.

My doctor does not and will not sign my "bill of good health" until I can prove that I have recovered fully and can manage my home life first for a period of time. It is what it is.

Having said that, this is my last update to my blog and I would like to express a mountain of gratitude to everyone who has followed me, encouraged me and have taken hope from what I wrote from time to time either on my blog or my website www.micheleo.sitegoz.com. I will resume to my previous life even if it has been altered with pain and fatigue.

For all my friends (many) out there with cancer, I wish you a promtp and full recovery. Please take patience to what is happening to you and your families. Understand the meaning of each words that you do not understand and make sure you get clarification. It is important that you take this very seriously. GOD BLESS

So to all, farewell.... Tis for now/ciao/MLB

Time fly's but everyone should catch up!

2009-07-18T18:10:00.006-04:00

Wow, a month already since my last update. I've been busy researching the web for my daughter (which by the way I have finally found).

Ok first for my health, the mammogram revealed nothing other than scarred tissues. Life is good and I should blaze away at it for many years to come. For the meds, they finally conceded and changed my dosage for it to be fine without too many side effects. And that works... question is "why was that not done earlier" ! - it would have save me a lot of appointments and testing and some money into the medical system. Ironnicaly, I got a tyroid gland testing because I asked for it (I'm ok)... Is something wrong with the people who read your chart?

We can all see the end of the tunnel with my health problems and yes by the way, I finally went to the dentist and he yanked everything out. Outch Bobo.

Well as I said, I have finally found my daughter Veronique after 28 years. Believe me that if you want some changes into your life, you most certainly will. Not knowing that she had been adopted, I was always searching for the wrong family name... hence... no Veronique for all those years.

About a month ago, something told me to check out the "retrouvailles" site and there she was right in front of me with a different surname and a story to tell. Now knowing her last name, I called all of the same name in Montreal and left messages. That did not work out for me. I then went on google alert and posted a request, therefore triguering a message for all the new Veronique's info (many of them - even in Belgium) until voila, I have found her.

Tomorrow, Sunday the 19th, I will get to meet her and talk for hours about the past. This should prove to be very entertaining for those who know me and my wicked sense of humour.

So to all, always follow your dreams regardless as to how impossible it may seem... There is someone up there working it out for you.

Tis for now/ciao/MLB

Most of the results are in...

2009-06-15T20:09:00.006-04:00

New changes that happened or about to happen

Pancreatic Cancer - on remission since Nov08.
Knee operation - postponed as the meniscus has settled in - Sometimes difficult to walk.
Diabetes - Going to meal insulin (measure my insulin according to what I'm about to eat).
High blood pressure - Full of meds - still have that culprit pill that does more good than harm.
Heart - Happens to be good and strong with no blockage but some trace of angina.
Breathing - Go figure, I have asthma and I have to use two different pumps.
Blood - building at 127
Creatine - leveling at 221
Smoking - Nicotine patch and (take a big breath) finally down to zero.
Teeth - Pulling all bottom - gone bad - replacing with new and white (no tar).

Cocktail ... 21pills/2pumps/1patch/1needle ... for now

With all that finally falling in place, I'm not yet ready to go back to work according to my doctor. It would appear that I need yet another two months at least. (He his concerned that I'm trying to defy the odds and that I would fall flat on my behind).

When I finally get back to work, I'll probably party all night and celebrate this long awaited end of journey.

So with all the above changes in my life and DNA, I'm now a bionic man and I should be entitled to get a new serial number.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Been a while people...

2009-06-06T13:11:00.002-04:00

Wow...it's been a while people...

Well the good news is that the persantine test (stress test) revealed that my heart muscle is good and that I have asthma requiring a new pump to use twice a day.

Overall, I'm doing good all things considered. I had to go for another abdomen ultrasound which makes me a little nervous at this time... hope there is nothing to find.

On that note, I'll try to update a little more often.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb.

Cry me a river...

2009-05-08T10:15:00.004-04:00

Good morning yall,

Well I did have my heart monitored for a day (little machine with two sensors). It was fine. The next day, I had the stress test with persantine. Very scary from what I heard but you know... I certainly had worst in the past two years and there really was nothing to it as you are monitored all the way and before you know, it is done (the stress part). It is still a 3hours session. Boring.

Once they have all the results, I will finally know what is wrong with my breathing. Something funny - The heart specialist mentioned that I may have asthma and that could be a cause for my breathing problem. I will only know for sure once the results are interpreted. If that is the case, I'm then just another guy with controlled asthma. (that would be OK.) I need to keep my heart in good condition because I have so much love for Sylvie. (Get it?).

So things are somewhat looking positive and we're on track. My long list of appointments is finally starting to shrink. (still busy with tests in May and follow ups in June) If I have it my way, I should resume to work on July 06,09. (I know, I said that before and boink)

Check out my website: http://micheleo.sitegoz.com/

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Moving along

2009-04-29T16:38:00.004-04:00

Hi Yall !
Not much to say but checking in anyways.

My high blood pressure seems to be well controlled with the meds.
I have not received any results or calls from the monitored day.
Next week is my stress test by injection. (not looking forward to that).

Did you know that there are different types of massages. I've seen a massage therapist from the physio and he sure knows how to work those distressed muscles. I have had pressure on my spine near the collarbone since forever and he was able to work it out (just wonderful).

For those who knows, I'm still at six.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Smile for the camera?

2009-04-17T11:42:00.005-04:00

Well today I was hooked up to a 24 hour monitor to check my high blood pressure at regular intervals. This will enable my team (doctors...) to determine the proper adjustments to my daily medications. The monitor is a little cumbersome but I kinda appreciate getting this done as it will give me a clear picture and will enable me to compare and calibrate my home monitor.

For those concerned with my smoking habits, rest assure that I have eliminated the bad ones and I'm down to 6 (reality even if I didn't smoke for one day - Right Kel...).

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Entering a new chapter...

2009-04-08T18:34:00.005-04:00

Hi yall,

Well I now have to establish a new friendship with yet another doctor - Cardiologist. It would appear that my echo cardiogram and ECG revealed a sign of angina attacks.

The cardiologist reviewed my current medications and made some adjustments... He even added a pill for cholesterol which is good by the way. I also have a pump Gen-Nitro in case I get unknown chest pains.

This is quite annoying as I did not want to enter into this chapter. I am schedule for a day with a monitor to follow my heartbeat. I also have a Persantine with Tetrofosmine test coming up (not an enjoyable test from what I hear).

One would ask "when is this S--- (hit) going to end"

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Sad, sad news

2009-03-24T16:20:00.008-04:00

I found out this week that one of my friend lost her mother to cancer. Although all of her family and friends kept going to see her and pray for her well being, this ugly disease once again took someone that we cherish, admire and love.

To the family, Mario, Sylvie, Marc and Chantal as well as Reggie, my prayers are with you and my sincere condolences. As always, I'm just a phone call away if I can help in any way possible.

Cancer strikes yet too many times and our wonderful government should probably do something about it. If only they were investing for the lives of Canadian people by funding cancer research instead of investing into foreign countries. The Cancer research always has to fight for more money. There is no cure without it - period!!! Why is it that our elected do not take this more seriously... I guess this is the unanswered question of the century.

Regards,

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

New website

2009-03-22T16:33:00.010-04:00

Well after popular requests, I finally gave in and created a website for all to see. It is loaded with links, information, videos, survivors stories... and more.

As time permits I intend to load more pages of information and valuable links. In the interim, please check it out : http://micheleo.sitegoz.com/

I currently support Pancreatic Cancer Canada as I find that they are the only ones fighting for the cause and they need your support for donations to help bring the research funding to new levels.

To accommodate that, I have put a link "donate" on every pages of my site that will bring you to their website secure page. Once there, all you have to do is fill in very basic information and that will bring you to a Paypal page.

We cannot fight this cause in silence and I invite anyone to email me their story so I can then add it to my website.

To all, I say a big thank you for helping out.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

God I hate waiting on people...

2009-03-15T17:13:00.004-04:00

Dang... waiting for results and more testing. This has been a looooooong journey and I'm so anxious to resume to a normal life.

As some of you probably know, I failed my breathing test. (there won't be a second). My doctors are trying to sort out the breathing problem. It may be pills or it may be my condition.

I have to get a HPB monitor for 24 hours to find out my peaks and valleys. From that they can adjust my meds and/or follow another course of action to make me better.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

The kids always know in their own way...

2009-02-26T11:58:00.005-05:00

My daughter had a project in biology about cells. She elected to talk/write about pancreatic cancer. In a way, I was flattered because the subject is somewhat hard to talk about in the family and with this project, she had to uncover stones and find out the reality of it.

She asked me several questions, did book and web research. I read her project and it reminded me of the things I had to go through with this ordeal.

Teenagers who have a close person afflicted with cancer do their thinking on their own. They often do not want to talk about it because the end result is scary and in most cases terminal.

I'm definitely proud of the choice of project she made and I know that because of all the hard work she put into it, she will get a great note.

Just thought the world needed to know this.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Some cocktail...

2009-02-22T16:45:00.007-05:00

...I have so many drugs to take to keep everything in control from my episode at the hospital.

Here's the mix... (total 20/pills, 14iu insulin, 2 puffs)

Adalat XL, Furosemide, Nadol, Clonidine, Terazosin, Pantoprazole, Quetiapine, Senokot, Wellbutrin XL, Sabultamol, Lantus Solostar, Lorazipam, Clonazepam, prochlorazine, Repmavite, Tums. (can I have a tylenol?)

All of this to keep my system in balance... I could bake a cake with less ingredients (lol)

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Beep Beep ... Update !

2009-02-19T15:58:00.019-05:00

...I'm almost done with my appointments from the doctors and specialists. My diabetes is under control with lantus (they changed the insulin) I average 4.9 to 8.2. My family doctor has not found any problems from my physical.

Next week, I'm seeing my hematologist, nephrologist, oncologist and my family doctor. All that combined should give me a clean bill of health as every spots will have been checked.

I feel as if I'm scheduled for a 21 point safety check... lol

Tis for now/ciao/mlb.

Project "Back to Work"

2009-02-10T18:10:00.008-05:00

...Well folks, my results thus far are quite good considering the ordeal I had to go through. I should resume to work with no health issues (other than periodical check-ups).

Just a few more appointments and then I'm ready to roll...

Tis for now/ciao/mlb.

Life after that...

2009-01-21T13:08:00.004-05:00

...Well I'm recovering very well at this time and plan to get back to work soon. I've requested a physical from my doctor to give me a clean bill of health (required by my employer).

Happy and anxious to resume to my normal life after this extraordinary journey into the unknown.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

At last, another update...

2009-01-09T11:47:00.010-05:00

...Well folks, I've been in better than average shape for the past 3 weeks with nothing unusual to report.

I would believe at this time that the meds are working properly with only minor adjustments to the mix. (they have to figure out why I get over exerted so easily and have trouble breathing)

My creatine is going up and down but not at an alarming rate. My hemoglobin is doing very good maintaining at 131. My HBP (high blood pressure) is like a roller coaster. My Water Retention (sodium) is too high as my feet tends to swell.

Other than that, keep your chin up and smile as its cheaper than hospital parking. LOL

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

What's new ... you say?

2008-12-18T09:14:00.007-05:00

...The hemoglobin is 121 (with the help of aranesp)
The creatine is 276 from 358 (awesome)

Now I'm getting my color back... my skin is pink again.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Getting Better

2008-12-08T16:20:00.006-05:00

...Its funny how sick one can be and then just like a miracle, you get all better. I'm starting to gain some strength as time goes on. I don't nap in the afternoon anymore.

Last Tuesday, the doctor called me to inform that my creatine had gone down from 403 to 336. If these number keep going down, I should be able to resume my previous life (pre-sept 2007).

The high blood pressure has come down because of the meds. They will start to pull back some meds and assess the results from that - yahoo.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

One solved, one to go

2008-12-02T13:59:00.006-05:00

...On Thursday, the oncologist did say the word "remission" and that sure took a load off our shoulders.

On the other hand, my creatine was at 443 on Tuesday and down to 403 on Friday. If this is a trend, I might be out the water with my kidney problems.

I have to have bloodwork every Monday now to monitor both the blood level and creatine.

Once resolved, I'll be a new man.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Good News...

2008-11-23T14:49:00.007-05:00

...Well although they do not say the word "remission", my pet scan indicates that I can celebrate this ordeal as there is no evident traces of cancer.

On the other hand however, my blood count as not stabilized yet and the hematology are considering more plasma treatments in the near future.

The diabetes is also about to change as they told me that I will need day shots as well.

These problems are not going away and I have to get use to it.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Update

2008-11-11T11:22:00.005-05:00

...Seen the doctor of neuphrology yesterday. It would appear that the treatments of Plasma Exchange worked to get my kidneys to work at 25% capacity. They may never get better...chances are slim.

All of this was caused from the Gemcitabine/Chemo that I had received according to the doctors.
For the HBP (high blood pressure) it is still high and managed by meds
For the Hemoglobin, the reading keeps dropping and I have to take injections to promote red cells to the bone marrow.

Tis for now/ciao/ mlb

Time goes on...

2008-11-06T18:37:00.006-05:00

...Well I do not have much to report other than I had a CT-PET scan today. I was nervous for 4 days prior, claustrophobic and such. All went well with a little stress. They showed me part of the scan without interpretation. Quite interesting to be treated like slices of bread.

My hemoglobin was at 102 on my hospital departure and I suspect that it has gone down as I am still very tired at times. My creatine on the other hand was higher than required but not alarming to my doctors as they have removed the lines for dialysis at this time. I'm on hospital watch with blood word every week.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Out of the hospital

2008-10-27T18:01:00.007-04:00

...Well I spent from September 26Th to October 22Nd in the Ottawa General hospital because the gemcitabine I was given for chemo caused my kidney failure. Now I'm a little better as the creatine has taken a flip and is now going down - That's a good thing by the way.

To all my friends inflicted with cancer, make sure that your high blood pressure is doing good and that you "DEMAND" your hemoglobin and creatine results every time you get any blood work done.
If you are an out patient and your family doctor request blood work, kindly ask him to always check your hemoglobin and creatine as regular testing. Also ask him the numbers you are looking for.

On another note, I have received three in the past 2 months, 3 blood transfusion (2 unit each) for my hemoglobin being low without any physical blood loss. (found out it goes microscopic thus visually undetected through your urine). Of course you also lose blood with blood work and plasma exchange.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Blood - the wacky science

2008-10-19T12:51:00.013-04:00

...Since September 26th,2008, I've been hospitalized with a blood and kidney disease called TMA and/or TTP (thrombotic microangiopathy). It is very rare with only 26 reported cases last year in Ottawa. There are several treatment and so far I received hemadialysis 6 times and plasma forensis (exchange) 18 times as well as a kidney biopsy.

The main problem is to maintain a proper balance. I have high blood pressure and a very high score of creatine as well as a low of hemoglobin. The problem with me at this time is that all three are screwed up and it is difficult to maintain the proper numbers.

So with that in mind, I'm eating the scrumptious hospital food 3 times a day.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Been better...

2008-09-23T13:54:00.005-04:00

...For the past 2 weeks, I've had low red count and high creatine (promotes kidney failure). I have slept most of the time to approx 23 hours a day. Some would say I'm well rested but i beg to differ that I'm tired.

My doctor is pondering between aranesp or blood transfusion. Quite frankly, I don t care, just get it fixed.

To those who know me, I had to postpone my motorcycle courses.... bummer.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

"To Thy I Bow"

2008-09-03T20:11:00.005-04:00

...Finally I received my last treatment... so yes I was able to ring the cow bell.

This week however is another scenario altogether. My hemoglobin is at a low 85 which makes me ultra tired. IE: I climb 3 steps and sit on the 4Th for a bit and so on. Although it does not happen literally, I'm very tired and fatigued. I am waiting for the hospital to book me in for 2 units of blood. Thank God we're not in October... get it?

I have some new friends that read my blog... and to them I say thank you - it makes it all worth it.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

je moo, tu moo, il moo...etc.

2008-08-26T10:45:00.007-04:00

...This adjuvant chemo is treating us like cows in the system - Moo moo. As a bonus, you get to ring a cow bell once your treatments are done. How ironic

I guess by now you know how tired I am of this whole bucket of crap. They always seem to find the chemo as the culprit for anything you have weather serious or not. I have found myself to the emergency for 7 hours of waiting for nothing - its the chemo that does this or that... its always the chemo. Then why the heck am I so stupid as to take it.

Since this whole thing started, I am now diabetic and lately I found out that I have HBP. Although its not a big deal, high blood pressure causes a lot of concerns on other things. Consider that I've had headaches for 7 months with no-one realizing i had HBP in the first place. Did I need to suffer every darn day?

At the risk of sounding morose or cynical, I wonder why do people go through this whole ordeal of being sick for months to gain the equal of months at the end. Where's the real gain. Moo Moo.

So 2 weeks ago, they decided to cancel my last treatment for my own good of course. My platelet were at a very low 55. So to all concerned, I could not ring the cow bell...yet.

Last week I had my treatment (again they could not find my blood work- annoying) and it hit me like another ton of bricks. Good thing we keep the porcelain clean. Between the fever and the trips to the washroom, I had plenty of time to sleep it off.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

So its starts again....dang

2008-08-09T15:39:00.007-04:00

...What a mix up that was. They could not find my blood work so they did not want to give me my treatment. So an hour into arguing with them, they somehow found it. The nurse that told me not to worry about it last week proved to be wrong again.

This treatment hit me like a ton of bricks, today I have an upset stomach and I get to see the porcelain all too often. The headache is very prominent but every time I try to take in a Tylenol or Stemetil (nausea), I barf it back within minutes. I have a little fever at 38.0.

Here I am complaining about all of this and I hear of my little sister having heath challenges of her own. I sure hope she is fine and the docs find her problems.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

And the beat goes on....lala la lala...

2008-08-02T12:18:00.005-04:00

...So I now feel better with the antibiotics for the bronchitis.
They had to postpone the Chemo because some of the drugs I take interfere with the antibiotics. All has been pushed back by one week and should resume next Friday.

From there, back on nupogen and Gemcitabine Chemo.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Your body should be looked at by a mechanic

2008-07-24T17:23:00.010-04:00

...Tuesday, I was at the emergency ward where they did not find anything of value.

Now I'm bed ridden for the next 10 days with 38.5 avg. fever and bronchitis. This started when I went to the emergency and although, seven hours later, they ruled it out, I went to see my family doctor on Wednesday still having high fever and he was appalled that they didn't do anything. He pulled all the available information from the emergency unit as to not overlap where unnecessary.

So from the above title, your doctor is your best mechanic. He knows you inside out from day one. He's the one who consoled your bobo's where necessary and mostly, he has done a good job to keep you alive...kudos' Baha.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Night fever... not the song

2008-07-22T15:16:00.005-04:00

...I've been having chills, fevers, etc for quite a bit now. Today, I found myself at the emergency unit with constant fevers of 38.5+. The chemo center advised me to get to the hospital if I have 3 readings of 38.5 or more within a set period.

After numerous tests, they sent me back home (7 hours later) telling me that with the Gemcitabine drug, the chances of one to have fever is 40% as well has having headaches 40%. I find myself having both.

I probably do not write as often as I should but I get bored and tired easily and I still have one month of this crap. (yes I did say that).

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Sick of this journey...

2008-07-12T13:20:00.005-04:00

...When is this ever going to finish. Again, I'm on week 3 and the symptoms are evident and annoying.

By the way it is the Chemo's fault if I have ballooned - it is called Imodis (miss-spelled).

On another note, the closer the end of my treatments rolls in, the closer I will be back at work.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Who's who and what's what...

2008-06-25T12:21:00.008-04:00

...I did see the diabetes specialist and she said the ballooning is most likely because of the chemo (again). The oncology dept. tells me a different story... ballooning usually develops because of diabetes... Who is right? This is what I often get when asking direct questions to the oncologist, doctors as well as the diabetes group... NOBODY WILL TAKE THE RAP.

It was quite convenient to take an extra week off from the chemo. I was tired, everything tasted like metal... this tells me that the chemo residue will take at least 2 weeks to get out of my system. They say up to a few months... I would tend to believe that.

So it's fixed, I'm resuming chemo 3on/1off as expected with the Nupogen drug.

Other than that, I'm a little anxious to trash all the pills they have me take for different purpose. This will be interesting to see just how sicker you are without rather than having some pill cocktail that infringed on each other.

We'll see about that...

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Oops...missed one...

2008-06-21T19:30:00.005-04:00

...I went back to my doctor on Tuesday for a follow up for my throat. Everything seems to be clearing up.

The new problem on my health is that I ballooned up mostly on my feet/ankle/legs and my doc sent me for a Doppler to verify my circulation. Considering I'm writing at this time, everything checked out OK. (PS: I'm still all ballooned up).

Well I was so busy last week with appointments, that I missed my chemo as I double booked (almost a good thing - lol).

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Everything changes in a day...

2008-06-12T13:53:00.005-04:00

...Yesterday all was fine, the fever was gone, hardly any bone pains and I was the cheery go lucky guy that everyone knows.

BOINK... Today I got up and was coughing blood and my tonsils were inflamed. I went to see my doctor to find out that I have a throat infection and now he added Amoxicillin antibiotics to my pharmacy cupboard. He also called for chest x-ray (just to be safe)... I'm telling you that doctor is the best and he's always one step ahead.

So for the next few days, I cannot yell or scream. Dang I get to keep quiet.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

This is taking the best out of me...thus far

2008-06-08T18:28:00.007-04:00

...I had treatments every week for the first time which now completes a full cycle (3 weeks on, 1 week off). It is very potent and I have fevers 4 days out of 7. This week, I'm having a hard time adjusting to acceptable level of fever ( from 38.7-39.2). Cold bath, Extra Fans in my rooms, Tylenol, etc...

Today, I had a weird day as my sugar counts was below normal (3.8) and I felt weak and nauseated. I had to stop midway and go rest at my sister and eat something. Thank you Christine...I needed the break and the food.

Other than that...

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

The trill of Gem*Chemo

2008-06-02T20:49:00.003-04:00

...and Monday.

Never ever say yeah too early...

2008-06-01T21:15:00.005-04:00

...I guess I applauded too early. This second treatment knocked me out a little more seriously. I had fevers on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and my 2000 bones (according to lever soap) are aching with the Neupogen drug. I sure hope this is for a good cause.

Later... I'm going back to bed.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Neupogen - It works

2008-05-30T14:24:00.006-04:00

...I did get my treatments Friday as my white count and neutrofils were at an acceptable level. Finally I will get the real Chemo treatments for a full cycle.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Next run of Gem*Chemo...

2008-05-23T13:50:00.008-04:00

...Hello to all. Following are the dates of my next Gem* chemo followed by 3 days of Neupogen.

May 30th, 2008 - 13:30
June 06th, 2008 - 09:30
June 20th, 2008 - 11:30
June 27th, 2008 - 12.30
July 04th, 2008 - 11.30
July 18th, 2008 - tbd
July 25th, 2008 - tbd
August 01st, 2008 - tbd
August 15th, 2008 - tbd
August 22nd, 2008 - tbd
August 29th, 2008 - tbd

As you can see from the above, I'm not quite done with the Chemo treatments. The Neupogen main side effect is that all your bones aches and you encounter a mild fever. I guess that is the price to pay when you pancreas and spleen got ablated thus preventing your immune system to function properly. My white cells and neutrofils were good today so I did receive my treatments.

I had a CT scan (for my numerous headache) pending result. My CA19-9 reading was ok at 7 (it takes a much higher number to be alarmed). On the smoking part, well guess what... I'm still smoking (shmuck).

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Another avenue to promote white cells...

2008-05-12T14:27:00.007-04:00

...Well as they would say, there is always 2 point of entry for anything. Considering my white cells are always at a low, I'm now on a prescribed drug called Neupogen (dosage is 480 UN). The bummer with this is that the patient has to pay for it as it is not covered by the Ontario Medical system.

The cost is $1008.56 for 3 injections (per week) or $3025.68/month. I was quite alarmed when they originally told me that I should take Neulasta for a cost of $2700.00/injection (You do the math). Although a similar drug, I now had to learn how to inject myself after 1/2 hour training session.

The goal of this is for my Gem*Chemo to be consistent and administered for 3 running weeks. Thus far, this has not happened once and for all I know my initial 3 months are trashed. Apparently not so according to the oncologist as any drug is better than no drug. Go figure.

The medical system has me so confused with everything and no one seems to offer any news whether good or bad. I have had another CA19-9 marker done last week (at my cost again).

On a bleak side of things, I've had consistent headaches since the inception of my treatments and I went for a CT scan for my head last week. I should get the results in a few weeks.

The diabetes is controlled and has become regular habit. The smoking is doing better as well (I will not give any counts yet as I might relapse)

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Cell low - Therefore no go.

2008-05-02T11:37:00.004-04:00

...Bummer, no Gem*Chemo today as my counts are too low again. This would be the 3rd month that the chemo does not take its full cycle or course.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Time... such a precious factor in life

2008-04-25T16:46:00.005-04:00

...Finally all the tests are in and today I've resume to my GEM*Chemo. My white cell count is acceptable but they had to reduce the dosage by yet another 10%. If this goes on, they might only give me saline water (lol - still have a sense of humor).

Today I met a fellow whom had the Distal Pancreatectomy similar to what I had. They (the couple) reminded me of how Sylvie and I felt with my initial diagnostic, full of questions with unanswered piece of a huge puzzle. This sort of re-affirmed me of how good I am in my 8Th months after surgery and how much I have learned about this ugly cancer (all things considered). I certainly wish them the best.

So after meeting with my oncologist on Monday, I found out I cannot get my arthroscopic surgery for my knee until all my treatments are done.

I'm now on Wellbutrin (same as Zieban) to help me kick the smoking habit. Hopefully this works.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Your body always have a story to tell...

2008-04-06T18:54:00.005-04:00

...So guess what - They did not want to give me my treatment again as my white cell count was too low (.8). Although the oncologist is cutting back the potency by 10%, my body does not want to assimilate to it yet. I'm seeing him in two weeks to elaborate on the quality of my treatment.

At this point, I have not received a full gambit of treatments so I don't even know my peaks and valleys just yet. If I require 4 months of this GEM*Chemo, this would bring me to July/August.

The diabetes has caught me by surprise on several occasions with a low. I NEED SUGAR. Isn't this an oxymoron.

Now with my new glasses, I can see my friend (monitor that is) a little better.

This for now/ciao/mlb

Whipple Procedure for Pancreatic Cancer

2008-04-02T15:53:00.010-04:00

...If you have a strong stomach and you are curious about seeing an actual operation, click on the following link... http://www.or-live.com/umm/2048/event/rnh.cfm

Note that my operation although similar was a Distal Pancreatectomy.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Where I'm at...

2008-04-02T00:10:00.004-04:00

...Well folks, I have had another treatment last Friday and I'm holding pretty good. This week's treatment (if I get it) will be the first piggy back time. I'm not exactly looking forward to it but it is essential to my recovery fighting this ugly cancer.

You probably noticed the top bar where you can now view videos about this cancer. If it is the same as you last viewed, just click refresh on your screen and you will get another series of videos.

The question of the week is there for you to sorta log in... meaning that if you answer, then I know how many of you read my blog. It is good for me to see high numbers there.

I sleep better and the diabetes is still under control.

The cigarettes however are not under control and I am considering acupuncture or laser. This &*(%#)) habit has got to stop at some point.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Why do I write about all of this...

2008-03-25T12:17:00.005-04:00

...The main reason is of course to keep some kind of trail log. Sometimes just to write makes someone feel better about whatever the course of life has to offer. Some may think it is self pity and others would think it is to convey the information. I, on the other hand, write about this because it has to get out of my system and it is a wonderful way of coping and sharing this journey.

The diabetes is under control for approximately 2 weeks now and I finally accepted the fact as well as the routine. It is a bummer but it is required to keep my body in balance. I have a good range and only had one occurrence of an extreme low. I'm glad this has happened as I now know what to expect but mostly what to do.

On the GEM*Chemo, I have been sick a few times already and the fatigue is the bug. I also figured out that the day after the Chemo is a write off and that it takes approximately 6-7 days for my low white cell count. (that would be the low peak) Gladly, it's all uphill from there even if there is a needle (picc line hook) waiting for me around the corner from that point.

I have an eye doctor appointment today as my vision has diminished and they (diabetes) need to know the exact situation with my eyes before my next appointment (Apr 21st). I often get a headache with excruciating pain around the left eye. This needs to get fixed ASAP.

I take medication to enable a full night sleep. Quite an oxymoron when you think that I'm always tired. I had numerous night roaming the house without sleep so far.

So on average, I'm on target with my treatments and although it seems that the doctors are all over me (which they are), I do not want to leave anything unturned about my health. I therefore welcome any preventive tests they have. Quite a timetable though.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Go with the "GEM" flow...

2008-03-18T17:34:00.005-04:00

...Hum this is powerful stuff. Received my Gem*Chemo on Friday and slept most of the week-end. I now find myself caught between 2 fires (chemo & diabetes). I blame the side effects to one or the other not knowing which is which.

Because I have so much to learn about diabetes, I get confuse at best with the side effects. (better explanation).

I have been only sick once (nausea) since this phase2 of the chemo.

The smoking side of things did not work. I was on the Champix and 4 weeks later, I still smoke. Some say it's will power where others say I have too much on my slate - to that, I say it's a freaking addiction that doesn't want to go away.

The family is doing great, and guess what... spring is around the corner. To that, I suggest in order to help with the snow removal budget, that everyone takes their hairblower and attack their snow banks.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Good Team Looking Over My Shoulders...

2008-03-11T19:26:00.005-04:00

...Well although I was annoyed last Friday, I understand they are looking for my well being after all.

I had gone to receive my 2nd treatment for the Gem*Chemo and had to get blood work done first. The reading was not favorable on the white cell count (0.8 should be at least 1.5), so they did not give me anything and sent me on my way. (this of course will be added to the end run).

On the Diabetes side, the specialist liked my readings and advised me to only take some insulin at night. There are some high reading through the course of the day but any insulin for that has been canned for another 6 weeks when I see her again. They will probably give me another type of insulin for the day (adjustable in dosage).

It was recommended that I see an eye doctor for testing at an early stage to see (no pun) where that is going. (has to do with the diabetes).

Anyways, as always I am high spirited and the show must go on.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Bonus - Diabetes Type 2 (not really)

2008-03-04T15:26:00.006-05:00

...I was mislead; it is of Type2 and not Type1. I still have to inject myself twice and take count at least 4 or more times daily. Quite a regiment, there are so many thing you have to know about sugar/glucose and having diabetes. The effects or counter effects are numerous. It is annoying at first, but I guess I will get use to it rapidly given no other choices.

The Chemo seems to be doing well at this time with nothing to report. Being busy with the diabetes that keeps my mind away from the Chemo - might be good, might not !!! There is so much reading.

The core of my diet will not change drastically as first expected. It is more in the balance of nutrition and frequency of it. So if you have chocolate fudge cake to offer me, best to just send a picture by email.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

There is a first to everything

2008-03-01T11:53:00.005-05:00

...Got my first GEM treatment through the port. Wow 1/2 hour later it was done. Makes you wonder why there are still people out there who do not elect to have this small procedure done. It makes the chemo treatment so much more livable.

So Monday is the big day for the diabetes learning process. I have a 2 hour session to learn the facts and figures and on how to administer the insulin drug.

Not much to say at this time as the Chemo is fresh with no reporting issues yet.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Let The Games Begin - Round 2

2008-02-26T17:50:00.005-05:00

...For those of you that are wondering what is going on, well...

First and foremost, I now have diabetes-type 1 (juvenile-the term alone makes me feel young). I'm starting my regime this coming Monday. 10iu am/10iu pm. I should get a bulleye tattooed on my belly and keep score. Dang, this is perpetual.

And so the diet will change. Ironically the Chemo and Diabetes do not share the same recipes. One is low fiber diet whiles the other is high fiber. Hard choices when you eat bread like I do. Will this be white or brown... I'll have fun with this when I order breakfast.

On the Chemo side, I have the port installed and healed (it looks as if a bone was sticking out of my shouder area). Weird but effective I hear. My first GEM treatment is this Friday 10am, then followed every week for 3 weeks on, 1 week off. Considering this being a different drug than before, I have no idea as to what to expect other than the dosage will be changed according to my bloodwork. Better get my pill pack ready.

I'm on LTD until this is resolved so I will keep busy with little home chores or projects. I can not predict what will get done at this time but most certainly I will do what needs to get done around the house: deck, fence, hot tub... then jump in and relax.

Been to MTL and spent some time with friends and family. This was a great change.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

More rap with a "C"

2008-02-02T21:10:00.003-05:00

...So now I find out that I'm subjected to diabetes type 1. My glucose level is at 75 and should be between 60-70.

Although I suspected this would happen at some point because my pancreas is now 1/10th of what it used to be, It is not appreciated. I will have to change my diet altogether and use the needles and prick my finger after every meals. Darn I'm going to be full of holes by the time this is all over. Next week, I'm going to see a specialist for further testing to positively identify presence of diabetes and I will be referred to a nutritionist to help my diet.

So I got the call and I'm booked for the Port installation on February 12th, 2008. Small day-op for half a day. The beauty of this is that now they will use that Port for the Chemo and blood work. This should work fine for me because I'm always about time management and this will also accelerate the process of the Chemo treatments (Gem Chemo if you needed to know).

I have started to see a doctor to help me deal with all that is happening. I guess I do have issues after all. I tend to explain in details to others about my situation and I seem to forget to convince myself of what is happening - Could it be that I'm some sort of denial?

Last Monday, they did the CA19-9 marker (I had to pay $55.00 - no thanks to the CDN govt) and on Friday they did my CT scan. With that done, now it will be better to identify if there is any return of the cancer or any new growth in my body relating to the Pancreatic Cancer.

My smoking habits took quite a hike (almost 2 packs a day) and I was refered a new drug called Champix that seems to be very effective from what they say. I started this morning and this should kick in full speed in about a week's time. (I hope this time it works...I've tried almost everything)

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

LTD dawg

2008-01-27T03:13:00.004-05:00

...So I'm going on LTD for the duration of my treatments.

To start, I already have 5 appointments next week...

Blood work for Glucose testing.
Blood work for the CA19-9 marker (reference point before my Chemo starts)
CT scan (abdomen area)
Follow up with the Radiation Oncologist
Follow up with the Family Doctor

On 3 of the above, I have to be fasting. Bummer

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Such is life

2008-01-21T18:15:00.003-05:00

...Boink

Today was my follow up with the Chemo Oncologist. Although all went well, I will now have a Port Line installed (under the skin at chest level, coin size apparatus for the infusion).

It was recommended that I undergo further Chemo treatments for a duration of 4-6 months. The formula is now different (3 weeks on, 1 week off).

I will have another CT scan and this time they will do the reference marker CA19-9. This will then be perpetual from all related cancer CT scan.

So next Friday I meet with the Radiation Oncologist... I wonder what he has to say!!!

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Back at work - week2

2008-01-20T11:22:00.004-05:00

...Well if you all need to know, I feel good - This might change on Monday. I have my follow-up with the oncologist for the chemotherapy.

2 weeks after and most of the residual from both the chemo and radiation is gone. I still have some upset stomach but that probably has to do with my diet.

If the oncologist puts me on a new cocktail, I will elect to have the Port Line installed instead of the Picc Line. This way, I can feel more human than being plugged with a 24/7 bag to my waist.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Good to feel human again

2008-01-03T11:49:00.003-05:00

Wow... Yesterday was a great day. First and foremost, it was my last radiation day. Then, they removed the chemo bag and the picc line.

Now I can pretty much do whatever without the impairment of the bag/tubes/wires. It certainly feels good to move around unobstructed.

I know that for the next 14 days, I'm on watch for any side effects. It can go both ways, good or bad. Just going back to work will most certainly make it fall to the good side.

So here it is; radiation follow up - Feb01,2008 / chemotherapy follow up - Jan21,2008.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

2008-01-01T11:00:00.003-05:00

...Well here it is the new year - 2008.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a Happy New Year with an abundance of Joy, Health and Happiness.

It only seems like yesterday that I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. What a ride this was... first the news, then the operation, then the treatments... I sure hope that 2008 fixes things.

I'm due back at work on Monday (finally) and I certainly welcome the challenges this may bring. Being at home for all this time has made me realize that retirement for me is not welcomed yet.

So to all concerned, 2008 is here and I'm back... Let's move mountains together.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Starting the last week tomorow

2007-12-30T23:28:00.004-05:00

...Finally we are at the last week. The treatments are going well and I felt a little better last week with only 3 sessions. Looking forward to this week for only 2 sessions and then zippo.

I still have some side effects such as fatigue and nausea. My strenght is somewhat better with less treatments I think.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Week 4 - done

2007-12-23T22:46:00.003-05:00

...Week 4 is now completed. I still have another 2 weeks of radiation/chemo to do. (5 treatments in all).

The side effects are slightly higher than before.

So the floor is finally finished and my family came over for dinner. It sure was great to show off the work that has been done but it was more fun to have them over in a pleasant environment.

On that note, a huge thank you to Frank, Christine, Sylvie and everyone else who helped with the renovations.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

yet another day

2007-12-18T23:44:00.003-05:00

...Tired

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Week3 - completed -D1F6H2N1R0S1

2007-12-15T22:13:00.003-05:00

...Finally completed day 15/25 of my treatments. All seems to go well and as expected as per the legend in the title.

On the hair loss side, I've started to see some thinning. I guess if I shave my head (cut short), it will not be as noticeable.

The fatigue is still the main problem. Every time I start something, I have to stop midway and the job does not get completed. On that, I certainly would like everyone to know how much I appreciate Frank's help with the living room floor.

Tonight we had our Staff Xmas party. It was great to see all my co-workers and I had good conversations with most. I had my 1/2 glass of wine as planned. Hats off to the social committee for a job well done.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Hump day of treatments

2007-12-12T09:43:00.003-05:00

...Hourra - I'm 1/2 way there for phase 1 of my treatments.

The fatigue is the worst of all the side-effects. The nausea is annoying as you get the bad taste burps and nothing happens. I had another crappy reality check with my doctors. It is quite scary as the stats are not favorable - but being who I am, I certainly do not let this bring me down. We will fight this ugly cancer with all the resources available to us.

Good news on the renovations, the dining room painting is done and the floor has been started. My sister Christine came over and sort of gave me the boost to get started. Sylvie painted the baseboard and staircase.... (she looks good with a paint brush). One of me coworker offered to help me out to get this over with... I had to sulk my pride and accept... Frank - A big thank you.

So 'tis Christmas soon and my family is coming over next week-end. This is good news as I certainly cannot get myself to Montreal to see them.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

UPDATE!!!

2007-12-10T11:59:00.004-05:00

...Further to numerous requests that I blog everyday, the following change will occur. I will commit to blog when I can with no specific timetable ie: everyday or weekend or else.

Sorry for all that are rooting for me.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Week2 - D1F5H0N2R1S1

2007-12-08T19:54:00.003-05:00

...Here it is ... "the weekly report"

First and foremost the radiation/chemo is certainly taking a toll on my day to day. I have extreme rush of fatigue... that can change within minutes. The other side effects are creeping up on me and it makes it hard to monitor what is what and why is why.

On Tuesday, I started a common cold that hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to take care of it right away as they threaten to push my treatments if not resolved. The worse that can happen is that I have a fever that is unrelated or worse undetected. In other words, I could have a high fever due to the chemo thinking it is due to the cold...get it?

Of course all of the Reno have been brought to an abrupt halt. I painted the ceiling and 2 walls only. Here's what happens; I get started, go sit for a break, feel very tired, close the gallon of paint and sleep it off. What a bummer. I have to get some strenght to finish the painting if we want to have some kind of Christmas spirits here. The floor seems to be postponed until the new year... This will then be a week-end task.

Sylvie is a little uptight with me because I started something knowing that the odds were against me to finish it as agreed. I very rarely enlist people to help me when doing renovations. Sorry to let her down. It would be cool if we did the floor together next week as she is on holidays.

A special thanks goes to the following for making my week more interesting either by meets, emails or phone calls thus helping in my social life; my family, Christine, Rachel, Marty, Sharon, Frank, Kelly, George and Andrew.

I know that next week is the turning point (week3) or radiation/chemo and I may peek to a very low (strenght). I will certainly sleep it off as much as possible as we have our staff Christmas party on Saturday and I don't want to miss seeing all of my colleague even if it was only for an hour or so.

See you all then... thanks and I appreciate all the emails I get.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

WARNING

2007-12-04T10:31:00.004-05:00

...There will only be 1 blog per week / The side-effects are starting to kick in. Stay tuned for an update on Saturday...

Thank you for understanding.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Week1-WE (24/20)

2007-12-01T21:28:00.004-05:00

Saturday... got up early and needed to go back to rest for a bit. The system is starting to catch me by surprise.

Sunday...got up early - little upset stomach all day.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

Week1-Day1

2007-11-26T14:23:00.003-05:00

...Here it is, I'm all plugged up and ready to roll...lol

All went well - The radiation (4 beams) was done in approx 15-20 min overall. Not intimidating at all. You somewhat feel that you are in another world (trecky) with this thing going around you and stopping here and stopping there. Little noises but not scary.

The nurse met me afterwards to review the possible side effects and advised me to book an appointment with the nutritionist later on this week.

More papers to look at and read - I guess they know deep down how bored I am.

Went to the Chemo Center and again they reviewed all the possible side effects and how the process will work. The fanny pack weighs about 5 lbs and I'm getting .6ml/hr 24/7. It's a little cumbersome but I will get used to it.

Now (2:32pm) I'm at home and a little tired. So off I go to nap.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

...The home nurse saw me tonight to check up on me and to ensure all checks ok.

No side effects to report yet although I have to take some motion sickness meds.

I will probably write my Blog around the same time every day - so stay tuned.

PS: They have puzzles available for the patients. I was able to put together about 10-12 pieces. I hope to beat my score tomorow and go for 25 pieces.

Tis for now/ciao/mlb

History and update

2007-11-25T20:29:00.009-05:00

Jan2007 - doctor physical with a variety of tests (several dates)
Mar2007 - tests results - blood work, ECG, ultrasound (found something) etc.
May2007 - CT scan to verify an anomaly requiring further exploration
Jun2007 - CT results proving a cyst, growth, tumor - no name for it yet.
Aug2007 - Endoscopy day-op proving a blockage to be removed
Sep2007 - operation - distal pancreatectomy and splenectomy surgery -90%

Seo2007 - recovery from operation expected (6-8 weeks)
Oct2007 - confirmation of Pancreatic Cancer
Nov2007 - informed that I have to undergo radiation and chemo therapy
----------------------------------------------------------------

Here it is, we are 14 hours away where I will have my first radiation treatment followed with my first chemotherapy through a picc line. (smaller regular dosage 24/7). I have to admit this does not seem or sound pleasant and I'm not looking forward to it. Truth be known, it is for the best and should make me a healthier person.

I most certainly appreciate all the support I have received thus far from everyone. Ironically, I had someone say "my sympathy" and I found that funny as if anything was ever to happen to me, someone would have already told me instead of telling my family at that time.

The comfort I have at present, is from Sylvie (my wife) who is always there by my side to help me and has been my best recourse of inspiration through this. Although I have a very positive attitude, she has always been able to see ahead and has been very patient with my denial, disbelief and cynical views. Sadly for me, I'm a very realistic person and stats are stats...

With a successful operation and recovery, the survival rate of this cancer is at 45%-5 years when you undergo chemo/radiation treatments. So I guess that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life and I most certainly intend to live this at it's fullest. I have been reading so much about this Cancer and although most information repeats itself, at times, it gets confusing - the good thing is that I now understand some of their lingo - So I'm still learning

I'm anxious to see my kids 15 and 17 grow to their full potential in life and hope they make good choices all around. I will be there for them each and every day.

I stopped working since Sep2007 to fix this and my returning date so far should be Jan2008. Being a workaholic by nature, I find it very difficult and feel useless at times. You can just imaging doing your 10-14 hours/day and then finding you have to stop. BANG - you now have to take care of yourself and nothing else.

Anyways, I have never had a BLOG before and this will be useful for all to see where I am with my situation. I thought of sending emails but soon realized the workload this would create. With the BLOG, you can forward the link to your friends or family and let them get the facts at their own pace.

Note that I intend to post everyday (where possible) but this may get interrupted if I do not feel well enough to write. I would appreciate that no panic be taken as I probably would require my rest at the time.

The show must go on and we are at the first curtain... I somewhat feel like as if I was being punished but I will get over that. Stay tuned for more...

Tis for now/ciao/mlb